Love, as it happens

“I have seen people waiting for someone at Barista or CCD. I have seen even the SEC D types waiting at the bus stop or the malls now-a-days! Out of all the people, I keep on waiting on the lap-top hanging on to my dysfunctional data-card like a life-line. Tell me, do I really deserve this?” She wailed over the phone and as always, I was her sole venting machine. Yeah! I flicked the word from some radio station; to be euphemistic it’s called being inspired not flicking. It’s my story anyway!
I have been brought up in this small town where I could never see such issues cropping up amongst the females of the species. They finished their twelfth standard to get married. The more advanced forms finished their graduation and got married. Had I not been through this path-breaking experience called the B-school I would have never seen this particular strain of the feminine species- independent, rich, secured through education, single and lonely. My friend belongs to the particular type who is not even into casual relationships just for alleviating loneliness and my heart goes out for her. I feel I am better off; at least I can flirt and sleep around without losing my ‘character’ or charm to my future life partner. See how sensitive I am, just the kind of guy women would love to have, but we are talking about my best friend, Svet, short and sweet for Svetlana. Svet has a long list of characteristics that should match-up with her life-partner and the six-sigma approach leaves her single at the age of 30! Occasionally, she trips upon guys on Facebook and all and dates online. So far, I have never seen her actually dating any of these cyborgs in flesh and bones and I pray she does, so that the wailing ceases to torment my tympanum.
Svet, it seems, is mighty impressed by this man called Vikrant. She has started ticking off her ‘characteristic-walla list’ and as I heard from the horse’s mouth, 66.67% has matched so far and it will touch 99 point something when she knows him well enough.
“You know Pai (that’s me), I had started leaving office quite early, like by Nine, to be with Vikrant. We never talked about our relationship but both of us kept on lamenting about the loneliness of life and how we just can’t seem to find the right partners. I mean, it was fun talking to him and we discussed everything from the latest movies to the future of medical insurance in India, to dearth of good employees in the corporate world, to the hype about 3-G in mobile industry and the lack of apt life partners. He was looking for someone who was intelligent; understanding; independent; who needs and gives space; a great conversationalist, heck, everything that I was looking for and we clicked! We really clicked. I knew we could get to know each other better and, may be, start dating in the real world. And I had a hunch that we could have assuaged each other’s insecurities about sharing space and taken it from there.” That ‘taken it from there’ coming from Svet was not a corporate cliché, poor thing really talks like that for say ten hours a day so cannot help it. I can imagine that this was getting serious.
Svet has broken down and has started crying over the phone itself! I was dumb enough to think it was a network problem and not react immediately. But come to think of it, what else can I do sitting in Delhi for someone crying into the phone in Mumbai! “Svet, please don’t! You just bought that N-90, the salt water will damage it.” I try my best to stop her tears but she calms down after sometime, on her own. All the while, I hold the phone and wait for her.
“Pai, he has not come online for the last one week!”
“Listen woman! He might be busy or broke a leg or broke his fingers more likely!”
“No, listen to me! We were talking and as usual he started telling me how he can’t find the right woman and goes on casual dates to that CCD near his home so that if the woman is not that good, at least he could enjoy the coffee. And I hinted him that I might be going near his place for a meeting which might stretch till late evening, around the time he gets back from work…and I kept on waiting for him to reply. He never replied. After what seemed an eternity I buzzed him and he had already disconnected! He has not come online ever since. I have also seen his Facebook status update that says ‘Vikrant is depressed coz he can’t trust anyone’. Pai, I probably scared him off or worse, he thinks I was hitting on him or had some covert interest and I betrayed his trust and friendship.” The tears started again. She needed water but I curbed the hydrotherapy advice and said, “is he in added to your facebook or orkut account?”
“Ya! What do you wanna do?”
“I want to check out if he is a gay and whether I have a chance. By the way, you need to be in the office to interview those juniors you desperately need, so get some sleep and we will talk tomorrow.”
Hmmmn! Vikrant has a nice profile picture, probably flicked that of a lesser known model’s. He is averse to poetry and does not read books, so much so for that 66.67% compatibility! Is this woman blind? Svet is into someone who is not into books! And tell me that pigs actually fly. I searched for this loser who is currently offline, all over, facebook, orkut, linkedin, tag it, you name it, and found a common acquaintance on orkut.
“Jain! Hello! Do you know someone called Vikrant Nair?....What? Are you telling me that there is actually a company called Hungama?”
Next step, get Hungama’s Board-line number from the eternal savior called Google.
Receptionists are hostile world over. They expect you to know the all the details of the guy you want to get in touch with, his extension number, department (what kind of departments a company named Hungama could have, I wonder!) and all. My call is ported to the ‘Gaming’ people (is life in J P Morgan a complete waste? What kind of people work for Gaming in a place called Hungama! This is getting weirder!).
“Vikrant here!”
“Hi, Vikrant! You don’t know me but a mutual acquaintance called Svetlana Singh told me that you wanted to look out for new opportunities and I am an HR consultant.” I admit being dumb but what could I tell him, ‘look my friend is crying her heart out, please come online!’ and I am a pathetic liar.
“Actually, she might have misunderstood, I am quite happy here, currently, but, may I know whom am I talking to?”
“This is Ajitesh Pai.” I could not lie anymore!
“But, you were a financial consultant, when did you shift to HR?”
Oh Shit! I had to tell him the truth. “Svetlana was worried about you so I thought I could help. Apologies for the decoy.”
“Never mind, actually I am glad you called. I have been incommunicado with Svetlana for the past one week. My data-card has been corrupted and online chats are blocked in the office. I did not ask for her phone number fearing that she might think I had covert intentions. I did not even e-mail her thinking that I would scare her away if I drop heavy hints.”
“I still don’t understand the Facebook status- Can’t trust anyone.”
“You see, it was like I couldn’t even trust my own hunch that we could have possibly met offline, overcome our fears and gradually taken it from there.”

Bang on! I give him 99%, Svet!